How to work through anger

At this age, many kids have a hard time working through their anger, frustration or many other emotions. We've heard from a few families recently about this problem at home and we'd like to share with you what we do in the classroom so you can try it out.

1. Use Kimochis. At the beginning of the school year, we sent home a notice about using Kimochis in the classroom. The goal of Kimochis is provide helpful information and communication tools for families, teachers and children to enable them to learn how to be better communicators, and express their feelings. Using Kimochi characters, kids can get in touch with their own emotions in a fun and comfortable way. You can find a copy of the Kimochis letter here. 

2. Create a quiet space in your home. Our classroom has the quiet center; a quiet, comfortable place where a single student can go if they are feeling sad, angry or just wants some along time. This space should be comfortable with pillow or a soft chair, secluded from noisy or busy areas, and include materials for a child to use to calm down or relax. Our quiet center has books about feelings, a calm down bottle, squishy bags to squeeze, a mirror, writing materials, family pictures, make-a-face, Kimochis and a stuffed animal. (Click the links for directions).

3. Create techniques to calm down. Our classroom uses several different techniques developed by the kids and reinforced by the teachers. We hang pictures of these techniques in our quiet center. You can find a copy of that document to hang in your home here.
     - Pretzel: Twist your arms and legs around like a pretzel and squeeze, let go and do it again. Many times the feeling of releasing tension in the body will help children relax. It also forces children to breathe.
     - A cold drink of water: Many times a cool drink will help redice anger and cool you off.
     - Blow up a balloon: Out your hands on the top of your head and take individual deep breaths while "inflating" your hands. Once the balloon is big, pop it. Breathing through anger is a big help.
     - Turn on the water: Hands out in front of you and twist and squueze (like the knobs on the shower) then release.
     - Smell the flower, blow out the candle: Just like it says, breathe in through your nose like you're smelling a flower then out through your mouth like you're blowing out a candle.
     - Count to 5: We have a melody for this, "One, two, three, four, five. Five, four, three, two, one, shhhh"


We tell our kids, "It's ok to be angry, it's not ok to be mean." 
Kids need to say why they're angry, "I'm mad!" is a wonderful first step, but we coach kids to say the reason; "I'm mad because you won't listen to my words!" Now how do we deal with that anger when their peer walks away? The techniques help them calm down until they can sort out their feelings on their own or get an adult to help them.